Ok, lately I have been in kind of a funk. A lot of it I blame on pregnancy hormones, but at the same time, a lot of it I was feeling before I was pregnant. I just seem to be overall unhappy lately and can't figure out why. It's like I am always looking for ways to be better or happier. Or I am looking for and expecting both things and people to make ME happy. I was thinking last night and onto today that I miss the person I used to be. I used to laugh all the time. You would always see me with a smile on my face. I used to joke and play around, and I was actually fun to be around. Now I have gotten to a point where I seem to have let the world steal my joy. I am always mad about something. I stress over little things, I worry about absolutely everything. And most of the time I try to figure out how to make myself better and have a sense of failure with most things that I do. For some reason I have convinced myself that I am not good enough. I'm not a good enough wife, mother, christian, etc. But is that just my low self-esteem getting to me and breaking me down? I always let my mind play tricks on me and get me in a panic that life is passing me by and I'm just screwing it up and missing all the good stuff. What I need to work on is how to get myself to a spot where I am content with where I am and who I am right now. Once I truly get to that point where I am happy. Not because I have certain things, or get certain things. And not because my life is perfect, but just to be happy. "Happy-go-lucky" Once I get to that point, moving on to bigger and better things will be much easier. But the problem is, how do I get there? I need to work each day on being happier. If you have suggestions feel free to shoot them my way. One thing I have realized that makes me happy is music. So maybe if I start to listen to music throughout the day and in the evening when I have things to do I will be more prone to be in a better mood. I need to find things that make me smile and start doing more of them. I want to be my old self again. ;)